The first couple of engagements fell into place with relative ease. However, the next invitation seemed to hit a snag right from the beginning. I checked my calendar. All but one of the suggested dates did not suit my schedule for various reasons. So I chose the one that fit only to find out that that date was no longer available. Would I pick another? Each of the others had drawbacks so I chose the one with fewer concerns and requested that one. The same thing happened. That date was now booked as well. I made another suggestion and that too was blocked.
Lord, what is going on here? I wondered. As I sat praying and seeking the Lord's wisdom I remembered a few of my recent dreams. Could they have anything to do with this??
In each dream I was either trying to find a class, in a class or taking a test. For a few days after those dreams I had expected that God was going to take me through some teaching or allow me to be tested, but nothing happened. The dreams then faded into the background of every day life, until they came into remembrance as I was praying. When I asked the Lord which date I should pick to speak after the first three fell through, He was silent. I remembered a friend saying, "When you're taking a test, the Teacher is silent." This must be the test, I thought.
Nothing made sense and frustration was creeping into my peace about the whole matter, so I shelved the prayer request and decided to inquire again the next morning.
My prayers the next day yielded nothing but silence again. What was God trying to teach me? I needed to reply to the invitation but had no answer to give. I kept reminding myself that God has this under control regardless of how disturbing it seemed. Around lunchtime my prayer partners called to chat so I ran the situation by them. One response took me by surprise.
"Are you sure you are supposed to speak at that meeting? Did you pray about it before saying yes?"
Hmmm. Did I? I had a reputation with friends and family for praying about almost anything. Had I slipped up this time? I searched my memory and just could not be certain if I had prayed or not. Had I just assumed it was His will since it was a reputable Christian group? With a piece of humble pie in my mouth, I asked, "Lord, do You want me to speak there?"
God's 'no' came with peace and several confirmations. My partners concurred. Oops! Hadn't I just written a blog about a week or so ago about not making assumptions? Hadn't I written in my book that not every good thing is God's will for us?
So here I sit in God's classroom AGAIN. Even when something is part of my calling (to speak) and even when it's a highly respected Christian organization and it relates to what God called me to write, the Lord still expects me to ask, "Is this Your will for me?"
No wonder why none of the dates worked and why He was silent when I tried to clear up the confusion. God is so gracious to keep refining me and taking me through this lesson again, and to even give me a heads up in several dreams.
- If you pray and God is silent ask yourself, "Am I asking the right question? Have I put the cart before the horse? Is there another question I need to ask first? What is God trying to teach me?
- God cares about your schedule.
- Not every 'good' idea is part of God's specific plan for you. Pray about whether it is His best for you.