A Hole or a Window? A Perspective on Loss

I never thought making a PB & J sandwich would turn out to be a spiritual experience. My young niece had slathered the peanut butter and jelly on the first slice of bread. When we pulled out the second slice and laid it on top of the first a look of extreme distress contorted her face.

“It has a hole in it!” she cried. A one-inch gaping hole turned her delicious lunch into a disaster. It was not what she expected.

"That's not a hole, that's a window," I exclaimed enthusiastically. "Look. You can see right into your sandwich. Isn't that amazing?" I peered intently into the 'window' and she followed suit. Her mealtime disaster suddenly transformed into a fascinating and very special sandwich.

So what 'holes' are threatening to steal your joy today? Are you staring at a hole in your life and wondering how to fix it?

Have you lost a friend? Did someone back out of a commitment? Were your plans canceled?

Perhaps there's another way to look at your loss. It's healthy to acknowledge the pain of disappointment. But dwelling on it only makes it worse. It magnifies the heartache and gives birth to discouragement. Allowing discouragement to linger leads to self pity and eventually depression.

How can we minimize the 'holes' in our lives so they do not become holes in our souls that need major repairs? How can we turn that hole of disaster into a window of blessing?

If we do not want to be swallowed up in sadness and self pity, we need to choose to rise above our situation. It is a choice that requires action and commitment on our part. If we do nothing but dwell on the pain or loss, we will slide backwards into the pit of despair. Feelings are real but sometimes they can lie to us. Our feelings may shout, “It’s hopeless” but the truth is there is always hope.

The first action is to humble ourselves and ask God what His truth is about our situation and what He wants for us. The first commitment is to determine in our hearts that we will obey what He is showing us to do, then do it promptly.

Is the hole caused by a hurtful remark or betrayal from someone close to our hearts? The first action is to forgive and release the hurt to God. The first commitment is to determine to pray blessings on that person.

Even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. I Peter 3:14

The hole caused by betrayal can be a window through which we see our own sins and God's unconditional love. We have a better understanding of the Cross when we experience some of what Christ suffered. As God heals our hearts, we become vessels for sharing His love with others who have also been betrayed. Betrayal produces humility and sacrificial love that we would not learn any other way. It is a window into God's heart for us. It is a window through which we can relate to the brokenhearted all around us.

The hole created by the loss of a friend can become a window of opportunity for God to bring someone new into our lives that we might miss if we preoccupy our thoughts with the lost friendship. God is always moving us forward into new relationships to bless us and to bless others through us. Trust that God is orchestrating something new. That new friend is out there waiting...if we are open to seeing our 'hole' as a window of blessing.

Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. I Peter 1:6-7